Think of a challenge you’re facing right now. Imagine asking about that challenge, “why me?”
How does that feel?
Does it feel hopeful and expansive? Do you feel creative juices flow when you ask that question?
Most people say just the opposite. “Why me?” may allow for a venting of frustration, but it reinforces pessimism and fear, and keeps us focused on the problem. It may produce the occasional insight, but it isn’t much help in resolving the problem in front of you.
Albert Einstein famously said that we can’t expect to solve problems with the same thinking that created them. So how do we transform our thinking in order to move forward?
Turns out that changing the questions we ask is a good start.
Listen to how these two survivors shifted their questions:
“I struggled for a minute with ‘why me?’ But then I got with God and said ‘where do we go from here? As long as you’re with me nothing is impossible!’”
“I was never promised a life without trials. So rather than ask ‘why me’ when I got my diagnosis, the question was ‘why not me?’”
How do you feel when you hear “why not me?” and “where do we go from here?”
These questions carry a very different energy than “why me?” “Why me?” is isolating; “why not me?” is normalizing. “Where do we go from here?” points squarely towards the future; “why me?” keeps you stuck in the past. These new questions contain seeds of possibility. They open the door to fresh thinking and support. They have the potential to rekindle hope, maybe even to summon miracles.
So go back to that challenge you’re facing right now. What’s a new question you can ask to open up a world of new ideas?
Bowing to your great wisdom,
Talk with Dr. Shani
It’s my joy to offer you a personal, complimentary Clarity Conversation of up to 45 minutes. You’ll come away clearer about what you’ve been struggling with, what you’d love your life to look like, and the best next steps to get you there.