This is about a phone conversation I’ll remember for a long time.
G was telling me about her decision to leave the East Coast, where she’d lived all her life, after completing breast cancer treatment. “My life there didn’t fit me anymore,” she said.
She’d become romantically involved with a man living a comfortable retired life in Arizona. With her children grown and on their own and a business she could run from anywhere, there was nothing keeping her from joining him in the Southwest.
The first months were exciting as she discovered the new place she called home. But it wasn’t long before she realized that her significant relationship was badly flawed. “He wanted to watch TV all the time. I didn’t get a second chance at life to live like that.”
The prospect of leaving was challenging, as this relationship provided G much more financial security than she had from her business. Even so, she boldly chose to leave. She couldn’t settle for a sedentary life that constrained her creativity and curiosity about the world.
“I couldn’t let the juice in me die,” she told me.
G’s story tugged at my heart for the challenging road she’s walking as we speak. And yet I’m cheering her bravery and self-knowledge. She knew that “borrowed” financial comfort couldn’t possibly substitute for a freer, fuller expression of herself in the world.
So she didn’t settle. She moved into her own apartment. She’s making progress towards financial stability, and she’s completely at peace with her decision to follow her inner wisdom.
Not all stories of settling involve such high stakes, like needing to let go of a significant relationship or financial comfort.
Maybe you habitually agree with someone you actually don’t agree with, because you can’t bear the thought of arguing.
Maybe you don’t schedule the massages or coaching or vacation you know you need, because there’s something “more important” to do with that money.
Maybe you forfeit help you need because you don’t want to “bother” those you love.
Each mismatch between your inner thoughts and outer behavior may not seem serious on its own. But add them up and they produce a level of stress that can be hard to live with.
The darn thing is, I see this grinding stress in way too many of the survivors I meet.
It’s compromising your happiness. It’s compromising your peace. Bear it long enough, and it may compromise your health.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
One of my favorite things to do is help you stop the war between what you’d really love to be doing, and what you’re actually doing.
No more making up reasons for doing things you don’t want to do.
No more running on empty because you’re stuffing away your own needs.
No more sacrificing support at times you aren’t meant to be alone.
Where in your life are you settling for less than you deserve?
My friend G is right. Life after cancer IS juicier when you find your way to following your heart.
If you can’t bear to stuff it for even one more moment, click here to schedule a free Clarity Conversation with me. We’ll look at where you’re selling yourself short, how you’d really love to be, and identify specific next steps to get you there.
You can do this. I believe in you.
BIG virtual hug-